Myself and a dozen or so other souls freely buckled to our seats at 35,000 feet gaze upon the boxes of man down below. A mom wrestles with her uncomfortable child. An old man watches football. The young man in my row, oblivious to the other souls sharing an experience. Yet as I wonder through my coveted window seat I notice men like boxes. You can always separate man made from creation. The flow of man is carefully placed. Built around a center and going forth. In measured boxes. Everyone in their place. Yet no matter how hard they try, they cannot claim creation for their own. Creation dances as a deep beauty mark through man. A scar, constantly reminding man they are not their own. A strike of beauty and undeniable grace. Yet man still builds boxes and wonders why God won’t crawl inside? We can’t have our ideals touch our government or our kids. Our family stays home and work stays there. We have a spouse box and a kids box. We have one for the dog and one for the cat. We have friends and best friends. We have those that need labels and those that claim one while despising the overarching “need” for them. We claim to ‘think outside the box’ and even that very task has a box. The very act of being unique is something that we have to check. ‘I don’t fit in’, ‘be you be beautiful’. We crave differences. So much so that we build another box. So maybe that’s why the encounter with Christ is so different. He doesn’t have a box. He doesn’t fit neatly inside without bleeding into another frame of our lives. We try hard to leave Him at church and then wonder why we aren’t changing. Why we cling to sin. It’s human nature. To build boxes and think we need to open them for God. But a real encounter obliterates every box. He won’t ever fit and we are quite stupid to think we can nail Him into one or two boxes. God will either remove all walls and destroy our “neat” sinful lives, to make us more like Him. Or He will build us a box and we will sin inside and out and love it. Then one day we will hear the final nail. Boom. Boom. Boom. And we will realize all along they have been coffins. And we have sinned our way to hell.
When we fear God, we need to understand that His love for us is so great He will save us from anything, even ourselves.
The idea that I am self-destructive bothers me, I am my own worst enemy. I don’t mean like the mind games type of self-destructive, where I tell myself I am not smart, or I’m worthless, or no one will love me. Yes, I agree all of those are lies and they can lead you down a dark path and you are called to see yourself through God’s eyes. But I mean the eternal type of destructive.
Psalm 139:15-17 says;
15My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
So yes, we should see our beautiful design and our awe-inspiring creator. The idea that God has known us from the very start of our existence is amazing. He has known us longer and knows us better than anything or anyone else.
I’m sure we have all read or heard someone say these very things a million times before, and I have as well but I think I’d like to take a different path to finish this thought. One that doesn’t quiet point to how wonderful God thinks we are but how wonderful God knows His work through us is.
We have a design that is the likeness of our death defeating God, but a nature that sings a completely different song. Our sin nature will send us straight to hell without a second thought. So, is there any hope if we are headed for destruction at 100 mph?
Well, the very same God that we are designed after, has made a way.
John 14:6 says;
6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
So, there is our hope, there is our way. If you are a child of God, in whatever way you believe you got there, then you know it’s not a walk in the park. But why is it so difficult? If we are on the path that is supposedly leading to life, then shouldn’t it be easier or at least super fun? That is not what God promises.
John 15:18-25 says
18“If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. 20 Remember the word I spoke to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.21 But they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they don’t know the one who sent me. 22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now they have no excuse for their sin. 23 The one who hates me also hates my Father.24 If I had not done the works among them that no one else has done, they would not be guilty of sin. Now they have seen and hated both me and my Father. 25 But this happened so that the statement written in their law might be fulfilled: They hated me for no reason.
There is our answer it won’t be easy and any preacher that offers a 12-step program to a healthy, wealthy and wise lifestyle should be seen for the wolf in sheep’s clothing that they are. But how does this prove we are our own worst enemy on an eternal scale?
The verse above really doesn’t speak to that point, but points to the reality that this isn’t an easy task, it honestly is a relatively simple task but simple and easy do not have the same definition, which I’m sure we are all aware of.
Galatians 5:16-25 speaks to the reality of sin;
16 I say, then, walk by the Spirit and you will certainly not carry out the desire of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, 21 envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I am warning you about these things—as I warned you before—that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,23 gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things.24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
We want sin. It is our nature to seek sin. We are self-destructive. But in the verse we just read it also speaks to the nature of the Spirit. The flesh and the Spirit are complete opposites. One is self-pleasing, only going after the carnal desires of a depraved nature. The other is outward focused, seeking to share the love of God and mercy. To share His being with others. The reality of these two options is, while we serve our flesh and our own being, we are killing ourselves. We have no ability for relationship or loving anyone else without self-centered motives when our flesh is our god. But when we live sold out for the God that didn’t even consider death to great a price to save you, our world begins to look different. Our relationships flourish, our heart is made new by the God we are devoted to. We are living.
Ephesians 2:1-10 says
1And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
So, there we have it we can kill ourselves but never save ourselves, that is the beauty of the Gospel and why we need to understand sanctification hurts most days. We desperately want to hold on to our sin, but we are called to cling to God not sin. We need to be saved from ourselves. This looks ugly most days with a beautiful result at the end. It isn’t fun to admit you have a problem in any degree, it isn’t fun to admit or realize you are no better than the death row inmate. But the reality is stated right here in Romans 3:22-24
22 The righteousness of God is through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe, since there is no distinction. 23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God;24 they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.
We are all sinners, our earthly consequences may be different, but eternity looks the same for all of us without Jesus. We will all be in hell, and while some may joke and are excited to hang-out with their friends, it won’t be that enjoyable. It is quiet literally, hell. I am not sure if the reality that we are killing ourselves hit you as hard as it hit me, but there you have it, my understanding that I am headed for destruction on my own two feet, but headed for redemption by my saviors two hands. And that is a beautiful reality.
While reading the book Desiring God by John Piper, I came across this line in the text.
“The wisdom of God has ordained a way for the love of God to save us from the wrath of God without compromising the justice of God.
What is this wisdom?
The death of the Son of God for Sinners!”
And I started thinking that as humans we seem to think of God as different adjectives, God is either wrath, love, or justice. We seem to keep them all separate. He is only one at one point in time, or He is simply only one, ever.
I’ve talked to people that say God is love, so as long as you love other people and maybe go to church on the important days like Easter and Christmas, then you’re good and have a ticket to heaven. While I’ve talked with others who say they will have nothing to do with God because any God who would let …( fill in the blank with any sin caused disaster) to happen, is a God I cannot follow or trust. Now the third, JUSTICE, I rarely hear any member of the human race say this one out loud, but I think both parties listed above, maybe play off of this one. Justice is kind of a strong word.
JUSTICE
noun
• the quality of being fair and reasonable
Maybe the idea of trusting in a God that will hold you accountable is a little too much too bear for most people, but when someone wrongs them they seem to be ok with the idea that God is just and said offender will get what they deserve. All while completely ignoring their own sin nature.
But maybe we need to take a step back and realize, God doesn’t play parts. He doesn’t choose the mask that will ruin our lives the quickest, or make us the happiest. God doesn’t play a role in your life to either please or displease you and whatever time He deems necessary. That is not how the God of the universe works. If you’ll notice, Piper’s words indicate a simultaneous execution. Something had to save us, while pleasing the wrath of God, while still keeping the justice of God intact. So the question is…. What could possibly do that?
Well the answer is only Jesus, that has always been the answer, from the beginning of time to the end of time that is the answer.
2 Corinthians 5:21
21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Romans 8:3
…By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,[c] he condemned sin in the flesh,
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 3:18
For Christ also suffered[b] once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,
So maybe we should stop “expecting” God to fit into our guidelines, and start to realize our God, the creator of the universe, did something so amazing, it becomes incomprehensible. Our minuscule level of understanding should not deem the attitude and actions of the God who, literally knit you together, and has known you before you knew you. Let us take this time and chance to sit back and see the God of the Bible, is the God of the Bible. Read His Word, see His character, and trust it. See the God who made you in His image, and share Him with everyone you meet. Share Him so much that everyone around cannot see the flesh and person, they only see the Grace and Mercy of the sovereign God of the universe.
Jesus, wonderful counselor, mighty God, everlasting father, prince of peace.
Jesus, human being.
Jesus, a son and The Son.
Jesus, a brother and a friend.
Jesus, an enemy.
Jesus, The Way.
The Good Shepherd.
The Gate.
I am that I am.
God.
I think sometimes when we think of Jesus, especially during the holidays, we think of helpless babe. We think of an infant. A tangible human being. We may even highlight these points. But have you thought about Jesus as the God who formed you in the womb, the God who shaped the hills and valleys of our universe with his very breath? Jesus, as the God we call out to today. Jesus. All powerful and all knowing and always present. This is Jesus. This isn’t a false way to look at him. Because Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son.
John 1:1-5
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. All things were created through him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. That light shines in the darkness, and yet the darkness did not overcome it.”
John 1:1-5
We are always set on making Jesus personal. Making him so tangible we rip God from His being. Jesus cannot be human or God. He is both 200% in one body. We don’t understand. We won’t understand. But we cannot fashion a box to fit Jesus in so we will understand. He is our God. He is just and honest. And will judge us on the same level as our neighbors, family members, church members, dictators, murderers. The good news, is Jesus is all of those things and He is perfect. And you know what? Jesus is our perfect sacrifice. One we didn’t even acknowledge or know we needed. Yet He came. That is Jesus, and that is who we should be acknowledging Jesus to be.
I recently started taking a class that my church offered called, “Love Thy Neighbor”. I didn’t know 100% what to expect. I don’t think I understood how important sharing God’s love is until I really learned what was on the line. People sometimes say, ‘it’s like if you had the cure to cancer and didn’t share.’ But I don’t think that description does this justice. Cancer is scary, terrifying really. I watched this unknown disease take my grandma from me slowly and violently. It took every part of her being and personality. But as hard as this is for me to say, what cancer did to her pales in comparison to what this life and the next looks like without God.
It is easy for me to say that the polite man in the coffee shop, the kind lady in the library, and the sweet little boy in my neighborhood are my neighbors. But to look around and say, the drunk driver, the school shooter, and the politician on the opposing side are my neighbor, becomes very hard. How could God expect me or even ask me to love them? How could a God, who is just and merciful and loving, want me to see someone like that and share the good news with them? Probably because I serve a God that is just and merciful and loving. My God is full of grace. I think I am worth saving, I even consider certain strangers worthy of God’s grace. Honestly that is the stupidest thing I can think, “my God, the creator of the universe and the ocean and sunflowers needs me, a sinful creature, to tell Him who is worthy of saving.” I can be a rather dense and foolish person.
But how do I get past this, how do I leave my human ideas outside, and go love my neighbor where they are at? This class that I’m taking did open my eyes to the fact that I am a harsh and solid deterrent for getting to know God, and all of His love and gracious tendencies. But this class also showed me that I am the perfect poster child of what God can save just as is anyone else. This class taught me to pay attention, to ask questions, and to really focus on God’s unwavering glory and grace. I started to pay attention to beauty in everything, including people, (even people that used to drive me up a wall). I started realizing that I am not here to win arguments or to please people. There needs to be a balance, I am really good at pretending can love people into the kingdom of God, and I am terrified that God’s truth is too harsh. But if I never show people the truth of my God’s love and the reality of humanity, then I am failing at loving. Sometimes the truth hurts, but the truth is always the best option, but the manor of how the truth is stated holds a lot of weight as well. Every time I think of someone sharing the gospel, I think about the one time I went to the Rose Parade. A man armed with a sign that had “REPENT OR YOU WILL BURN IN HELL!” in big gold letters. He accompanied his sign with unrelenting screams, “YOU ARE ALL SINNERS! YOU ARE GOING TO HELL”. Now that man’s sign and his words are true, and I believe that, yet I still wanted nothing to do with what he was selling. So how do I get my message of urgency across to others in a way that is loving and peaceful? Well, before this class I was not sure how to answer that. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it. If I was asked why I say I am a Christian, or why I say and believe Jesus Christ died for me?
1 Peter 3:15-16 says
but in your hearts regard Christ the Lord as holy, ready at any time to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. 16 Yet do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that when you are accused, those who disparage your good conduct in Christ will be put to shame.
This verse tells us to be ready, tells us to be prepared because someone is going to ask. But in verse 16, we are told to do this with gentleness and respect. With resect, meaning the face in front of you is a human, a person, someone with things to lose, things they fear, with questions of their own, lives of their own.
Towards the end of the class we had an “encounter” with someone who didn’t share our same beliefs. I spent weeks pouring over my notes, trying to prepare an argument against what the other side of the conversation believed. I was ready to slaughter them. I would have leading questions that would make them question their own existence along with the validity of their beliefs. As the class progressed, I started to realize I was missing the point, sure I can disprove their beliefs in less than 20 minuets. I can point out discrepancies, and false doctrine, but what good will that do if I can’t show them God’s love and redemptive nature. If I don’t show them I care about them more than I care about winning the argument then I am missing the point in a big way. When I first heard about the encounter at the end of this class, the conversation started to look like, in my mind, two gladiators fighting to the death instead of two civilized people caring about one another’s future, and one another’s heart. I should let the person sitting across from me know that the point of this conversation in not to add another tally mark on my “converted” list.
I do want to be clear; I am not looking to be persuaded into another religion. I have done an extensive amount of research and question asking. I have explored what I believe, and I know what the truth is. This conversation will not be one where my heart hangs in the balance.
So, through this class it took me eight weeks to learn that pummeling them into the ground with questions and a clipped tone to my voice, was not my purpose. Here is my purpose.
My name is Ashley Shrader, I am 19 years old. I know that Jesus Christ the one and only son of God, born of a virgin, died for my sins on the cross. He defeated death and rose form the grave three days later. God created the universe and everything in it from nothing but His spoken word. God is eternal and three persons in one, now and forever. The God of the Bible is the only true God. I am His creation, through disobedience, and failing every day I rip myself away from God and His never-ending love. But due to His grace and mercy, He offers forgiveness and a closeness to Him, even for a sinful creature such as myself. I have openly confessed my love and devotion and am blessed by the opportunity to serve the God of the universe every day. And I know that when I die, I will spend the rest of eternity in His presence and worshipping God in heaven. My God didn’t give up on me when I deserve abandonment daily and for that I am forever grateful.
So that I show I will love my neighbor. No, it is not the perfect plan, but that’s two be expected. This conversation will involve two imperfect people. I am positive I will have a conversation that involves questions I can’t answer. I am aware that this will be hard, but I have hope. Hope in a God that can never fail me.
What is true in the light is still true in the dark.
~ Rend Collective
The topic of anxiety is probably one that pulls at my heart like no other could. But I’m going to be honest, I don’t suffer from anxiety like most people do. I suffer from the outside looking in. I see people I love and care about being swallowed whole by this epidemic. And I feel so powerless, but am I?
If you’ve ever witnessed an anxiety attack, they make no sense. You’re having a good time then all of the sudden your friend or family member can’t breathe, and they start to lose control. But why? Are they ill? Do they need medical attention? In most cases the answers to those questions is no. The friend or family member probably had something happen and they began to fear that one thing or circumstance more than anything else.
As I saw every one of my friends experience these attacks, I couldn’t make sense of them. Now don’t get me wrong, I do find a fleeting moment of fear, but not anxiety. Every time I hear a balloon pop, or see a car accident, or see a big dog running towards me even if I know it’s friendly. I find myself in fleeting moments of fear, but not anxiety. But is there a difference between fear and anxiety? Yes, there most certainly is. It is human nature to feel fear or anxious. Jesus felt anxious, He cried to God to spare Him from the cross. But He prayed and trusted in God’s plan and He held onto that trust. Anxiety is a lifestyle, it’s a state of being. It is something you start to make a home for your inner most being. But the truth is, anxiety isn’t something to live with, it is something to overcome.
Philippians 4:6-9 says
6 Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things. 9 Do what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
I was wondering if I was the only one who didn’t suffer from anxiety but had to watch her friends drown in an epidemic that was sweeping the nation. I figured I must not be the only one, but I still felt seriously unqualified to speak in behalf of this topic. I was worried I would make it sound harsh and hateful. That I thought anxiety was a phantom problem. That was not my goal, and never will be my goal. I just want people to know, anxiety doesn’t have to be lord of your life. But I wasn’t sure how to go about doing that, so I started asking questions to better equip my knowledge of the problem and topic.
First, I wanted to know what the main reason behind someone saying they have anxiety was, and if there was a common thread between the diagnosis. Most people listed money, health, loss, the “unknown”, as their reason for having anxiety. Now without some of these things we don’t live a comfortable life, so I narrowed it down to, “the desire for comfort.” If you’re comfortable, then, to the human mind, there is no need to be anxious. People who live life with overwhelming anxiety stay away from situations that would cause discomfort. But in the end, we never really stay comfortable and their declaration of anxiety returns.
Second, I wanted to know what caused people to feel that they had anxiety at I diagnosable level. Did they feel funny, was their skin an off color, did they suffer hair loss? What were the needed signs in order to be diagnosed, by a medical professional, with anxiety? Throughout my research I discovered that there is no chemical imbalances to measure when diagnosing this epidemic, there is no missing part to the human brain, and there is no rewiring that needs to be done. Anxiety is diagnosed on a circumstantial level, meaning if you have stressful circumstances and you display signs of distress or malfunction based on circumstances then you could be diagnosed. If you start to let stress seep into every aspect of your life to the point of shutting down and not sleeping, you could be diagnosed.
So then, I wanted to know, what is the treatment plan for an anxiety diagnosis, because if there is no symptoms other than circumstantial, then how do they treat people under the grip of this epidemic? Well, they treat them by masking the problem or talking through it. If medication is used to treat anxiety, then they used medication that elevates certain chemicals in the brain to give you a ‘false happy’ if you will. If medication isn’t used, then they prescribe time at a psychiatrist’s office and allow you to explain why you’re feeling the way you are. Neither of these methods really work, studies show that anxiety is a diagnosis with really no hope for a cure. But why is that? Why is this epidemic so powerful? And why do people seem to be suffering from it all of the sudden and never before?
Well here is my answer.
I would like to state I am not a medical professional, I am not an expert on any one specific topic, I am, however, a girl tired of people not knowing the truth about the matter and I would like to share the hope I have, and the reason for my beliefs. I am a Christian and I trust my God to be in control. I struggle in this matter every day, I like feeling like I’m in control, and I don’t like needing to ask for help. But every time I decide to carry my burdens, darkness follows and hope dwindles. And I believe this happens due to the fact that I was not designed to carry any burdens, I was designed to step aside and relinquish control to the God of the universe and allow Him to carry my burdens. So here is my hope.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 says
“But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.”
We are told here that God is faithful to ALWAYS protect me and you from evil, and all kinds of evil, not just small things but any and all kind of evil. Now this is not saying you won’t feel fear, that is not what I’m saying at all. What I’m trying to say is fear should never own us, and ‘anxiety’ is naming the fear and giving it in a place in our hearts. The sad thing is when we give fear a place in our heart, we must push something out, maybe not all the way, but something still has to give up some room for this fear. This is why the quality of relationships, health, performance at our jobs, and over all happiness dwindles when fear moves in with a new title. But if we allow God to rule our hearts and lives, and allow Him to move in, all of the sudden there is no room for fear.
John 8:12 says
12 Jesus spoke to them again: “I am the light of the world. Anyone who follows me will never walk in the darkness but will have the light of life.”
I have hope because, as someone who is uncomfortable in the dark, knowing that I no longer have to live in any darkness, is an amazing gift from God. Jesus touched people and they were healed, Jesus loved people, He cared, He listened, and Jesus calmed people. So many times we leave Jesus’s love, grace, and forgiveness, in the grave that He walked out of. God didn’t die, He is alive and performing miracles every day. God is still in control. All of His qualities were resurrected with Him and He loves you. God doesn’t love the human existence as a whole, God loves every human being in a singular and personal relationship. No one is deserving of God’s love, but we are all given His grace and mercy every single day.
Jesus and His love are breathtaking, He could heal people from lifetime of sickness by simply allowing them to have faith in Him and touch His robe
God is forever and always good. Anxiety is not from God. It is a self-made lord that takes control of our lives. Removing the fear that is deep rooted in your heart is simple, trust God, fear no more. It is simple, but probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. This is a heart issue, and it begins every day when your feet hit the floor. You have to decide, trust God, or fall victim to fear? This is your choice. If you want to fear then that is your path, God will always be there, but anxiety is not His nature nor will it ever be. He will work through even the worst choices and circumstances we find ourselves in, but He will never ask you to live a life of fear. Your other option is, God’s love and grace. Decide to live in the light, in the peace of knowing God is in control and He loves you. He is not forced to love you, yet He always will. So, there is my hope. I am thankful for the love of God, I’m thankful for its filling nature, and peaceful Spirit. I have hope because I will never do anything, make any choice, or move to far away to be separated from God’s love and peace, from His forgiveness and grace.
I listed out everything I wanted to cover in this article, and in all honesty, I have not covered very many of my thoughts here. I still have a lot to say. Through all of the research, the hours spent in God’s Word, hundreds of pages read in medical books and other articles, I have spent about three months on this topic. I have had a lot of resistance to the idea of an article on this topic. At first, I was so eager to write it and get it finished. I thought so many people needed to hear what I had to say. That I would pour some ‘brand-new truth’ on them, and they would be amazed. Honestly, that is the exact reason why writing these words took three months. I was in the wrong mind-set and I needed to check myself and my thoughts at the door and let God work, not me. That was really hard for me, and I know it sounds seriously petty and messed up to want to use my words to preach my agenda and come down harsh and corrective on everyone reading this. But part of overcoming struggles is trusting God, which is what I just asked everyone here to do with their anxious spirits. So why was it so hard to trust God to say what needed to be said on this topic? Well because I am human. I struggle, just like all other humans. I may not have the same type of struggle, but we are all different, so all of our struggles, joys, peace, etc. are found in different ways. So, I didn’t tell you this to make it sound like complaining or me asking for sympathy, but simply to say God’s love and guidance covers all. From internal struggles to health concerns, God is with us and will never leave us.
As I sit here writing this article, on a topic that hits very close to home, I didn’t know where to begin. Every article, podcast, and conversation I’ve had about singleness, is with someone who is no longer in that season. So, I wanted to write from the point of singleness.
My name is Ashley Shrader, I will be 20 years old in October and I am not in a relationship. Between the ages of 17-18 I was in a relationship, and that’s something the Lord asked us to step away from so we did.
I think its most every person’s dream to be cared for by another person, to feel safe, and desired. But right now, I am not looking to get married, so I am not going to enter into a relationship that should be leading towards marriage. Now that being said, the Lord’s plans could most definitely include me getting married in the next couple of years, but until He provides that opportunity, I want to serve Him in this season.
I’ve always been told that singleness in a season of waiting, and that’s almost right, we just need to make sure it’s the correct kind of waiting. We cannot be passively waiting, we need to be actively waiting. The best way to think about this is, waiting at the doctor’s office vs. waiting for guests to visit your home. In the doctor’s office you are passive, aimlessly passing the time, maybe playing solitaire or reading, nothing super significant. But, when you are waiting for people to come into your home, you are cleaning, preparing food, maybe getting activities ready to do together when they get there. And when they do arrive, your waiting has produced results.
Jude 1:21 says
Keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting expectantly for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ for eternal life.
But how do we wait correctly? What does expectant waiting look like? How do we serve, find encouragement, and be encouraging to others in this season? I suppose to answer those questions we have to know what waiting should look like. So here are a few examples
· Pray, constantly be praying.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, pray constantly.
Spending time in communication with God is an amazing thing. It allows you to find peace in His presence and trust in Him deeper.
· Bring God into every aspect of your life.
Proverbs 3:6 says, in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.
Make sure that Jesus Christ is found in every aspect of your life, not just the pretty parts, or the ones you think people want to see, but all of it
· Be in fellowship
Surround yourself with people who encourage you and help you ask big questions, and then help you find the answers.
· Allow yourself to be single
Take yourself out for coffee, explore somewhere alone. A season of singleness is not a time to dread. Serve people in your church, try new things, appreciate your singleness. (That is not an easy task, but you can do it with God)
· Make your desires known to the Lord
We all know what we are looking for in a relationship, but do those desires line up with the bible? Allow yourself time to ask God what He wants for you.
· Don’t settle
There will be people who come into your life looking for a relationship, but make sure that they line up with God’s desires for you. It is easy to settle on the first person to show interest in you, but sticking to the desires that God has placed in your heart is difficult, but so worth it.
This article took me a long time to write, many hours were spent in prayer and many hours were spent at the coffee shop writing. Throughout the whole process I kept asking myself, am I really qualified to talk to people on this topic?
Am I living out what I’m saying? Am I actively waiting?
The answer to the first question is yes, I needed to hear this message as much as the next person and the Lord knew I needed to discover how to wait well. The answer to the second two questions is, I’m trying. It’s hard to admit that I am not actively waiting. It’s not out of ignorance, I know what I’m supposed to be doing. But I am not living out my waiting correctly, not 100% of the time. I would love to justify it and say it is because of a million insignificant things, but I can’t. If we really spend time in God’s Word we see that most every person that God used in the Bible had to wait. They were called to wait, called to trust on the Lord. So, I think we should start trusting, we should start listening whole heartedly listening to God, we should start waiting well.
It won’t be easy, but it is going to be so worth it. And we are in this together, you may not have that special someone but you are surrounded by young
women to lean on. And you can be encouragement to someone else. Be open to God’s plans, they are always breathtaking.
Is worship really only found on Sunday morning between the first strum of the guitar to when the house lights are raised and the amen said? Most of us know that worship is not confined into those couple of minutes, but how do we reset our lifestyles to be one of worship towards God?
To understand how to live a life of worship, we first need to understand what worship is and what it means.
Worship (verb)
To honor or show reverence for as a divine being or supernatural power.
To regard with great or extravagant respect, honor, or devotion (as in regard to a celebrity)
I’m honestly not sure how I would define worship in my own words. I want to use words like awe, reverence, sincere regard, true love, peace, etc.
All of these words and phrases help a little in painting a picture of what worship truly is, but they all fall short of capturing it all.
I’ve had some amazing opportunities where worship was the center of my day and I was surrounded by over 3,000 other people, all of our voices becoming one in a song of worship. You could feel God moving and you could hear Him through the words sang by thousands of voices in unison. But I’ve also been a part of amazingly intimate worship sessions where no words were spoken and instruments flowed, all being played by loving friends.
So how could two vastly different encounters lead to the same result?… Honestly, I think the answer is simple and amazing to reflect on. When I was crammed into a building with thousands of other people, we all lifted our voices, our hands, and our hearts. We were no longer judging the people around us based on trivial things. Random friendships formed, strangers prayed for and complete harmony was had between God’s children. And in the tiny youth group room with three close friends and our instruments, the same thing happened, harmony between us and all focused-on God’s rhythm and His love.
1 Corinthians 14:33
God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints.
God doesn’t promote disorder, it is completely outside of His nature, and when we worship, we line up with God which is peace, and harmony with His will.
Some people enter into the most amazing and awe-inspiring time of worship while sitting in complete silence in nature. They are in harmony with what God has created, they are joyful, and they are peaceful.
In my search for the definition of worship and what it means to people I put a question out through multiple social media platforms asking, “how would you describe worship in your own words?” The answers were… unexpected. They ranged from ‘expressing your beliefs joyfully’ to ‘worshiping objects and only using the word worship as a joke’ to ‘following something or someone blindly so you’ll get something in return’.
They were all answers in people’s own words, their opinions. Not exactly the truth.
A few words most answers had in common were, joy, feeling, peace, and surrender. Most all of the answers included some of those words. But is worship a feeling? Do we simply worship God to get tingles down our spines, and a happy thought in our head? If so, then wouldn’t that be known as a spiritual high? We use something to make us feel a certain way. It’s a little harsh I know, but in all reality that’s all it is. We become abusive towards the act of worship and do it to support our habit of feeling good about ourselves. We leave church on Sunday and sometimes complain about how you just weren’t “that into worship” or “worship just didn’t feel good today.” Well worship honestly wasn’t for you, it never is. A concert is for you, the radio is for you, but worship is for God. When we say we just “weren’t feeling worship” we should really check our hearts and minds and realign them with God and His word.
Now, don’t get me wrong, worship is a personal experience. For example, I find myself in really deep worship when I’m painting, or out for a walk, or writing. But others find worship in ways I wasn’t wired to connect with. I understand that. And having feelings when you worship is not a bad thing, not at all. I do however, caution you to keep your worship focused on God and making it sincere towards Him.
I have a challenge for you before I’m done, don’t simply take my word for what worship is. Research, ask questions, and start conversation, about what worship looks like to others and figure out how to open your lifestyle to allow worship in every aspect. I would love to hear what your thoughts are and how you would describe worship.
Here we go, 2018, you were one to remember, but one I also wish to move past rather quickly. You brought heartbreak and sudden loss. You threw struggles and tears at me more than I would like to admit. But through all of this I am not defined by what the year held for me, but rather my reaction to these things. I would love to say I handled it all with beauty and grace, but that is so very far from the truth. I struggled a lot this year, I struggled with feeling worthless, and unlovable, I wanted to be labeled as tough so I shut a lot of people out and refused their comfort and support. But as things often do, these actions caught up to me rather quickly. Summer brought a time to reflect and a time to be still. I cried so hard and thought my tears would never cease, but as always, God provides for our needs. Little did I know that my needs would be met in a friendly face and strong arm around my shoulder. A gentle hand across my face to wipe tears away. I was swept off my feet and shown unimaginable beauty in the form of mountains and road side stops, in butterflies and warm sunlight, in tan skin and freckled faces. I was shown how peaceful life is when the mundane is no longer the definition of your days. When you are actively searching for beauty around every corner you start to see it everything. The family you sit with by the waltz of the fire, is such a glorious gift. The adventures on the lake and unexpected slips into the water are astounding. The music playing as the landscape flies past at 50 miles per hour holds an enchanting spell over your heart. Long warm texts sent to those you are away from are so enabling. I want to live in these memories and feel the warmth of the sunlight and heat of friendly hugs as their touch dances across my skin. I want to forever remember these. But my year also came with destruction, through bullying text messages that hit very close to home, through forever friends explaining that their definition of forever and your definition differ in a lot of areas, through terrifying goodbyes, and through mangled metal on the side of a busy freeway. The losses of years past came back to sting again, missing people that brought so much joy into your life that are smiling down from above now. Trying to remember what them holding your hand felt like, and the laughs over chocolate cake did to your heart. 2018 brought lots of pennies from heaven and warm smiles through the clouds. This year held struggles in the form of misunderstandings and differing opinions. But as I reflect back on all the change and heart wrenching details I wonder why this year seemed to hit me harder than all the other years. Why did the loss hurt so much now? I honestly still don’t know why, but my most educated guess tells me that I put 100% into people surrounding me and expected them to do the same. This is not me blaming other people for a difficult year, but I had no clue that people aren’t important to all people. To me I hold relationship above all else, first my relationship with God, He has only kept me safe and brought peace in wretched times, and loved me through everything. Then my family, they stood beside me through the time in the hospital, and they’ve held my hand through hard nights and difficult loss, their smile warmed my world as they beamed with reassurance that good times were upon us. Next I hold friendships over anything else, they are the ones that have no obligation to hold on to you and you to them but you do and they do and its wonderful, but that is not everyone’s order of importance. Some hold experiences and status above relationship and that is 100% ok, that’s what works for them so that’s wonderful. I was not expecting that though. This year things hurt more than years past because I was experiencing new things. Turns out that you can’t experience all you need to in only 19 years. Part of me knew that the world was harsher than I could ever expect, and I was very right in that assumption. Part of me knew that I should be fine with the hurt I feel as it is normal for people to fail you. No matter how amazing you are and how wonderful you treat them there will always be a chance they will abandon you and turn away. This happened to Jesus, and he was perfect, literally perfect. I am so very not perfect. So this year I learned more than I could ever expect. The saying, “ God will only give you as much as you can handle,” is so false. This year was so much more than I can handle and I learned that rather quickly. I tried, I gave the best effort to carry it all on my own, but I could not. I had to give it over to God. So this year God gave me more than I could take, but it was no where near to much for Him to handle. Now this was not something new, God didn’t break character just for me, He did what He has always done. In all honesty I don’t think God has ever not given us more than we can handle, that is why community and fellowship with Him is so important. If He only gave us what we could handle then we would have no need for Him, so this year that is what I can say I learned. I learned that through all of this, I would change nothing, I will still love, I will still care, I will still ask how people are even if they don’t do the same for me. Jesus didn’t save us because we were doing the same thing for Him. So yes my 2018 was hard, it was destructive, but it was inspirational, and educational. It offered peace when it felt like peace was unattainable, it brought unexpected friendships and ended some that in all honesty needed to go. This year did not go as planned as I am so very thankful for that. I am so glad that I had no hand in executing what I thought would be a perfect year. Thank you 2018 for the lessons taught and the violent nature of your love. Thank you, and here’s to 2019, I pray you are everything I never expected and I have a sneaking suspicion that you will be exactly that.
Someone wronged you. Someone said something mean. Someone made life hard. Some times you look around and it seems like everything and everyone is trying to get on your nerves, and all you can do is become angry, worrisome, and mad. But is that the correct and biblical answer? I didn’t know how to answer that, I didn’t know how I should act when facing hard times. So I prayed, read, googled, and prayed some more. I didn’t find an answer in black and white, it didn’t come in a booming voice or even a still small voice. My answer came through the words in the Bible.
James 1:19 NLT Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19 MSG Post this at all intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle in the rear.
Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT And “don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
Proverbs 19:11 NLT Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by over looking wrongs.
Proverbs 19:11 MSG Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.
Proverbs 16:32 NLT Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a a city.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 MSG Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the bump on his head.
Through all of this reading and studying I still felt like it didn’t make sense. How are we supposed to deal with anger evoking situations?….
Well in my humble opinion, I feel that we were never told to not be angry.
We were never told to NOT be angry.
Let that sink in. It’s like how we were never told that drinking is bad. When we let the bottle rule our lives, or it causes us to sin because we’ve had too much, that is what we were warned about. Same as anger, if it becomes lord over your life, health, and well being then that is what the Bible warns us about. When anger becomes so real to us that it bleeds from one situation to the next then we need help.
I recently read an article by Jon Bloom and in it he said, “Anger with no tears over evil is often evidence of a lack of love in us.” This struck me as an odd thought and I couldn’t reason through it. But then I remembered every time Jesus got angry. How he always grieved for the people that were at the heart of His anger. They were lost and doing sinful and hurtful things because of it. Jesus wanted them to be found. When Jesus was on the cross He simply asked God to forgive the men who put him there.
So all of this being said it asks the questions again, how are we supposed to deal with anger? Here is my answer, take it for what it’s worth. Anger is natural and very acceptable. It’s a real emotion but, we should never let anger become the core and root of all emotions. Anger should never cause us to sin period. If anger becomes slandering, gossip, or physical then that calls for a heart talk between you and God. Allow yourself to feel and don’t hate yourself or God for your emotions, because if you do, then the devil wins. Allow God to rule your heart and trust Him. It won’t be easy but I can promise you it is so worth it.
By Grace Alone 